Welcome back

I love this picture. I searched for 15 minutes the other day to try and find it.

There are just so many things about this picture that I love. Well, it's not really the picture because honstly it's a poor picture..Julia and Kelly aren't facing the camera and I'm awkwardly in the back. But it's what was going on in this picture that I love..



We were in Spofford. One of my most favorite places to be.
As you can see, Julia and Kelly were fitting into one skirt. I was laughing so hard. I'm always the happiest when I'm laughing.
And no one can make me laugh as hard as the people who were on that retreat can.
This was taken right before the Rave we had at 2:00 in the morning.
Dr. Ice is in the picture!
I'm wearing tie dye. Tie Dye makes me happy. It's a mixture of colors blended together all co-existing on one article of clothing to make a beautiful piece of art.
It makes me think of all the different people of the world one day co-existing on this one planet to make a beautiful piece of art, called peace.

This picture just makes me happy.

Nooma

Watch..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiiKrEB2NQ0

Frozen Hot Chocolate

This one time when I was younger my mom told me and my sister that Last Drop Coffee Shop had frozen hot chocolate and that it was so good and we had to try it. So my mom, my sister and I went and got some. We sat at the counter facing the window. My sister and I tried it while my mom was in the bathroom. It was so bad we spit it out all over the window. We quickly cleaned everything before my mom came out of the bathroom. We pretended we liked it and forced ourselves to finish it.

I remembered this story the other day and it made me laugh and miss my sister.

I needed it.

"Hey, St.Pierre wasn't supposed to be teaching here this year. And look at her, she's here right now. Remember, there's always a little bit of hope."

Thank God for people who say things like this.

For what I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYnEn8aakJk

I basically die every time I watch this. They are so talented to the point that it's almost unbearable.

If you lose your memory almost completely, when it comes back would you have the same interests you used to have?

Currently at the gas station where we had to clean the cake off of Taylor's windshield <3

Facebook Friends

I don't even know her, but the fact that she moved and had to leave her friends makes me really sad. I almost start to cry when I look at her profile pictures.






..Maybe because that might be me if my dad gets a job.

Three

At Reverb today Dave asked us if we were somehow given 3 wishes, what would they be?

1. A better relationship with my family.
2. To be a missionary when I grow up.
3. To heal Katherine's Grandma.

Honest to goodness, if a genie popped up right now, without a doubt those would be the 3 wishes I make.

Fireflies

This picture must have been taken in Butler, PA. I miss the fireflies there. And everyone who was on that trip.

My Grandmother

I don't remember meeting her, the only thing I have from her is a claddagh ring and a paper she wrote in high school. After reading it I feel like we would have been really close. She is a remarkable woman, and I'm so glad we're related.

"Somethings there are that I love. I can't touch them with my mind, but I can feel them with my heart. They are warm and moving...they are situations, sights and scents; somethings there are that I love-Park Avenue, as it runs through Harlem, with its profusion of color and its cosmopolitan odor; icy fingers clutching roasted chestnuts bought from a vendor on a street corner; ...flowers from Central Park -across-the-street, planted in a glass on the window sill; ...the feel of Grandma's magic hand that caught the lizard in Italy; the rhythm in Daddy's movements as he danced me to sleep after his own hectic day at work; ...Momma singing "Cuban Lullaby" as she put me to bed; ...Patsy-the-pizza-seller on Third Avenue; the adventure of sleeping on the fire-escape on 'muggy' nights-These things I remember, and I love. These memories are personal yet public-"public" in the sense of people and places; public, as well, in the universality of ones emotions upon remembering the past- ones own small world gone forever, but ever present.
Bigger things there are that I love - the stillness of the earth before a storm - the voices of the people hushed in expectation; ...the wind blowing wildly along the beach at the end of the day; black trees silhouetted against a red sky; ...the force and strength of thunder and lightning; ...the sound of a train whistle in the distance on a foggy night; ...a walk through the ever enveloping fog which creates and aura of mystic beauty; ...the waltz theme from "Carousel" when I'm alone; ...cuddling a small child whose tiny face is withered in returning smiles; ...a puppy's wet nose against my cheek; ...these things I love.
Crying over written words; ...laughing over Dad's exaggerated Andalusion tales; ...the tranquility of the house of God as I kneel in prayer; ...that inexplicable great-to-be-alive feeling I get without logical or practical reason; ...the awe I feel at the sight of a Renaissance painting or at the breath catching sound of Chopin's music; ...the "near-bursting" sensation I get when someone lives up to my idealistic standards; ...all these things I love; and what is more, these are the things that will never disappear or vanish, for they are ever present in some unaccountable, unknown recess of my being. "

-Mariangela Villegas

Neighbors

"I had a dream that you got a tattoo and I said it was ugly, then you and your sister beat me up."

"Oh my gosh! That's ridiculous..I would never get an ugly tattoo.."

By your side, whenever you fall

When the crutch that holds you up crumbles, then what?

Where do you go from there?

She's gone right now

..But she'll be back.

Wake Up

I have a lot on my mind. I just feel like writing. Or talking. Or even just sleeping..

Shark Week.

Worst week of the year. JJ doesn't make it any better.

Thanks Shmay!

Come home

"Tell me, how someday you'll be returning
And maybe, maybe I'll believe.
It's just enough to see a shooting star
To know you're never really far."

- One Moment More by Mindy Smith

Kelly & Avery: Have fun in Paris and Barcelona!
Taylor & Kayla: Have fun in Florida and Puerto Rico!
Julia: Have fun in Maryland and Pennsylvania!
I miss you all!

I want my best friends back please.

Forever

"We promise each other it's till the end, Now we're spinning empty bottles, it's the five of us.."

"In my heart it's the five of us.."

-White Houses by Vanessa Carlton

AVERY, JULIA, KATHERINE, KELLY & KERRY

Oh the sound of melodies

As of recently I think God has been telling me to do something with music. I don't know what exactly and I don't know when, but it's just something He's been putting on my heart.

Lately when I hear music I smile. I mean music has always made me happy, but only happy on the inside. But now every part of me smiles, even my toes and my tummy (Julia). I just want everyone to know how crazy in love I am with music. I just want to sing everything at every chance I get. And play the piano. I just have an itch that won't go away to play. And keep playing until I can't possibly play anymore. And on the missions trip, with the Godspring bags, so many people gave me verses about singing, and songs, and music.

I just want to sing..

Truth is a simple thing..

..But you're full of lies.

Crying out, who will go?

Sometimes I don't know the answer.

"Music is what feelings sound like.."

Kelly and Julia both wrote blogs about being who you are when you're alone. I thought about this. I thought about what I do when I'm alone.

I sing. Always.

"And the world will live as one."

No more fighting friends please.

No more angry words or deeds.
No more heartbreak.

No more goodbyes.

No more exaggerations.

No more lies.

No more secrets.

No more pain.

No more hate.

No more blame.

Live in peace. Live free of hurt. Make your mark on the world. Just write your name in the dirt.

Keep your dreams big.

Beethoven? He was deaf.

Van Gough? He was color blind.

John Lennon and Paul McCartney? They couldn't read music.

Brian Gaynor? He has scoliosis.


Beethoven has written over 100 sonatas. Van Gough is one of the most well known artists ever. John Lennon and Paul McCartney have written and recorded a countless amount of songs that are still covered and remixed today. Brian Gaynor has auditioned for SYTYCD twice, performed on the season 3 finale and him and his crew will be featured in season 7.

Never give up on your dreams. Don't let anything or anyone hold you back.

Coo coo

Blog Wars FTW.

Expect the Unexpected

"It's Monroe, nothing ever happens in Monroe, Ryan.."

Said the night the girl went missing.

Don't make it tiny.

This one time Gangi was flipping out on us. Like really flipping out. Yelling, swearing, throwing things. And in the midst of it all he said..

"There's a big world out there, people. A big, huge world. And it's phenomenal. Don't you dare let Masuk High School take that away from you."

1 Corinthians 13:13

You need to have courage to love, and sometimes that's the hardest part.

"If it means anything.."

"..my son just graduated from Virginia Tech and as he went on stage to receive his diploma, one of his professors went up to him and personally thanked him for a letter he had written. The letter had saved the professor from being laid off."

Thank you Tom Taylor. In a situation when I was honestly thinking about giving up hope, you restored it in an instant. Yes, it means something. It means a lot.

My Twin

"I'm afraid to die. No one knows what happens after you die, that's scary."

"That's why you gotta have faith, homie."

My twin is the man.

Absorb this

"There's a second chance. There's always a second chance." -Avery Postema

With people on earth, maybe. With God, always.

Just why?

Why would you show up to someone's house, whom you don't know, without calling ahead of time to creep around their backyard? What would compell you to do that? That's just strange..

For the record, I'm not a fan of you and your awkward appearances at my house with your dad, whom I don't know.

Thanks though

I fully understand you're a busy lady but I would love if you gave my 4 paragraph email a little more than a 6 sentence response that doesn't even answer my questions..

Oh the thoughts..

I like when people tell me they don't think I'm awkward.

Oh yeah, I totally understand..

It's okay, you don't need to tell me anything anymore. That's alright. I fully understand. Our communication will be at a zero from now on. Good idea? Good idea. I think it's a fantastic plan. Alright, glad we're on the same page.

Hm..

I don't understand the question, "How is your headache?"

Obviously the answer is going to be bad, because if a headache is good, is it really a headache at all? I personally have never experience a good headache, aches of any sort are never really good.

Reallll mature.

Just because you aren't smart enough to handle her class and get caught cheating on a test doesn't mean you have to be a brat..

SOS

They can't do this. There's no way on Earth that we're going down without a fight. I can promise you that.

All over the place

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Just everything really. The summer, music, family, birthdays, prime time, autism, college, dreams, reverb, missions trips, wishes, the future, friends, poetry.

Jason Mraz is not just a singer, he is an artist. Artists aren't just the ones with paint brushes in their hands and charcoal smudges on the arms. They're the ones that aren't afraid to pour their souls out into a single thing. Whether it be a painting, drawing, song, dance, poem, story, monologue or sculpture. What their heart is telling them, it's on that piece of paper, on that musical staff, on that word document, on that stage, on that sidewalk. They're the boldest things God has created.

I don't know what to say when people ask me what college I want to go to. I don't want to go to college. But the look of disappointment you get when telling people that is enough to make you want to cry in your room for a week. It's even harder when you tell them the reason why and they don't approve of it. I want to be a missionary.

I'm flying solo next year. Just me and my parents.

I honestly think I have some form of Autism. I keep remembering things I had no idea I even knew. It would explain how I am like a human juke box. The Versailles Palace in France has 620 fountain nozzles in the garden. I'm dead serious.

Too many people are changing.

My brain is going crazy. This is all over the place. I need a breather.

Make it reality.

One day, 5 years ago, my sister finally convinced herself to try out for the middle school drama. She was in 8th grade and had landed a role in The Remarkable Incident At Carson Corners. After that show, she knew that that was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Her dream was to go to NYU for acting. She wanted to be an actress. She's now a senior in highschool, has been in 12 other plays and got her acceptance letter today.

Starting this fall, my sister's dreams become reality. She'll be living her dream. And nothing's going to stop her.

Good days.

16 things made my day great.

1) I woke up and didn't feel tired at all.
2) I had a bagel and homefries for breakfast which were delicious.
3) I went to church with Jack and Kayla.
4) I discussed my vegetarian ways with Jack, talked with Supah, ghetto texted Kayla and drank half of a mocha.
5) I passed by Luke Fain walking/riding his bike on the side of the road.
6) I met Kayla's cousin James who is one of the cutest, if not the cutest, 3 year olds on the planet.
7) I went to Katherine's house and hung out with Kayla, Kelly, Shmay, Alex, James, Johnny and little Jack. We ate pizza, drank snapple and played Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.
8) Then, we all went to the park, minus little Jack and Johnny. There we went on the wooden playground, the little kid playground and then attempted to play tennis.
9) We dropped James back off at Kayla's house so he could go home and I witnessed Kelly get tackled by him, which was absolutely one of the funniest things I've ever seen before.
10) Kayla, Kelly, Katherine and I went to Beacon Hill to help with the EGG-stravaganza.
11) We drew with chalk, sang, helped little kids do crafts, helped with the lesson and then ate some food on the picnik tables.
12) Shmay, Kelly, Kayla, Katherine and I went to 5 Guys and thoroughly embarassed Alex while he was working and then ate some fries.
13) Then us 5 went to Hanna Cranna's grave, drove down Dracula Drive twice and then went to Kayla's house and tried to have an intense conversation, which only resulted in silence.
14) My mom picked up me and Katherine and we dropped her off. I came home and tried to do my homework.
15) Katherine, Steve, Ms. Cantillo and I went to Baskin for ice cream, went down Dracula drive again, went to Hanna Cranna's grave and then spent the rest of the car ride to my house scaring the living daylights out of Ms. Cantillo.
16) I am getting all 500 songs that I lost off my iPod back to my iTunes as we speak.

I think I'll classify today as a win.

Thoughts from the sounds

"Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"

-Name by The Goo Goo Dolls

I heard this on the radio on the way back from Long Island yesterday. Will someone please unpack this for me? ..I honestly do not understand.

Let's make the world a better place!

Today we were watching The Inconvenient Truth in science class and we were talking about global warming. Our teacher was saying how over all these years people don't care and global warming is getting horrible and that it is up to us to fix it. Then a kid in my class says,

"If it's your generations problem, why do we have to fix it?"

Why is this the way people think? Just because we didn't cause the problem, doesn't mean we can't fix it. This bothers me. It's as if people honestly don't care about helping other people at all. When they should. People should strive to help others. I literally cringed when I heard these words come out of that kids mouth. How about we help others. Our planets lack of compassion towards others seems like a far more bigger problem than global warming..just saying.

Somethings really annoy me..

like when two people really shouldn't be flirting, but are anyways. Or when my mom asks me to put my seat belt on, when it already is. Or when I really want to watch a TV show or something and am too distracted by the actions of the people in the room. Or when people invite themselves over your house or ask to see your room. Or when I leave essays to be written the night before they are due. Or when people make comments at the movie theater to the people in the movie. Or when people stare at me when I'm not doing anything. Or when my friends keep secrets from me. Or when people who have a boyfriend/girlfriend flirt with people a lot younger than them. Or formspring. Or when the storm door opens the opposite way of the other door. Or when I put 2 socks in the dryer and can only find 1 when they are finished. Or when my parents forget to make dinner. Or when seeing people do things makes me sick.

But hey, I guess we just have to roll with the punches..

Shake The Dust by Anis Mojgani

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qDtHdloK44

To everyone and everything out there, don't let any thing stop you, speak your thoughts, stand up for what you believe in and never become so lifeless that you gather dust. To those who this message is too late for, shake the dust.

"Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes." - Maggie Kuhn

Let It Roll..

"I know I'll never die alone because of all of you.."-All Time Low

My friend and I were discussing music today, 8th period. He was singing me a song, and he said this lyric. This lyric in a song I've heard over 20 times. This lyric that I've heard so many times, but never thought of. This lyric that makes me happy. This lyric that sends my thoughts wizzing. This lyric that puts a smile on my face and puts other peoples smiles in my head. These smiles:

Fan pages and groups.

All these pages people are 'becoming a fan of' on facebook and all these groups they are joining are really starting to annoy me. They get me in such a bad mood after reading them. I just saw one, "'You're beautiful' is the best compliment a girl can get." Uhm.. can we speak for ourselves and not throw the entire population of XX chromosomes under the bus, because not all of us are that shallow. There are so many groups like "I hate certain people the minutes I see them." Like, why? Why do you do that? Sure, maybe you feel that way, but even so, why would you make that public? I just don't understand people some times.

Summer days..

Simply Because:
I miss Cana tremendously.
It looks like Julia isn't wearing pants.
I love Snapple.
Katherine's hair is so blond, and it's down and curly.
Julia has Cana's scrapbook in her hand.
Beacon Hill is my second home.
It was 7 o'clock, and it was still bright out.
We all look really tan.
They are my best friends.
This was the summer that changed my life.

..I realized that I am going to be 17 the next time I see Cana, and that crushes me.

I mean, honestly..

I just saw a facebook page called "i feel bad for those kids that sit alone at lunch."

..If you really felt bad you would sit with them, not make a facebook page about it.

I smile every time I watch this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ

I love their smiles when they flip over their signs.

April 13

I can't even begin to explain my excitement. Katherine just purchased tickets for the Hillsong concert on April 13 in Boston. We're going..

Soccer

I've been playing soccer since I was 5. That will be 10 years of soccer in March. I've played in over 200 games, over 20 tournaments, and over 700 practices. It's something I can't live without. I couldn't imagine my life without it. When I step out on the field, everything else in my life no longer matters. It doesn't exist. All that is on my mind is the game about to begin. Your team is more than a team, it's a family. You need to know everyone. You have to have a connection with them. You could be the worst of enemies at school, but on the field, you're siblings. I can't even begin to explain the rush I get when the starting whistle blows and the forwards kick off the ball. You're on your toes, ready for anything that comes your way. And you give it every ounce of anything you have in your body. You give it your everything, your all. And nothing else matters.

Masuk Freshmen Girls Soccer Team 09

Condon Tuesdays

Today is Tuesday. Every Tuesday our really good family friends come over for dinner. They call it Condon Tuesday. I don't even consider them friends, they are our family. They were supposed to come over today but my Mom told me to tell them that we had to cancel because my Dad was admitted in to the hospital today, due to problems he's been having with his breathing. So I canceled and apologized for not being able to have them over, and they told me not to worry about, that it was no big deal and that they hope my dad feels better. About 10 minutes later I got a text from Gabe, one of the people who normally comes over..

"U guys r eatin dinner @ my house 2nite"

Condon Tuesday is being held at their house. Their unconditional love and support for a struggling family Gives Me Hope.

To the DiBenedetto's, I love you guys. I am so glad you are all in my life.

Promises

I make promises I have no way of controlling.

When my friend was getting surgery on her knee; "I promise you, absolutely everything will work out fine. Nothing will go wrong."

When my friend ruined a friendship; "He's angry now, but I promise you everything will get better."

When my friend was reluctant to come back to Reverb; "You'll be fine, we all want you there, you'll be alright, I promise."

There are many, many more examples, but these are the first to come to mind. In all of these situations, everything was out of my hands. I could do absolutely nothing to make my promises come true. I've been thinking about this. Sometimes you need to make promises you know you can't control, simply to bring hope into people's lives. That's why I make these promises. These promises I can't control. Only the worst can happen when you lose hope. And I never want that to happen to anyone.

My friend who got knee surgery? Everything went perfect. She is now off her crutches and will be able to play softball in the spring.

My friend with a broken friendship? Her and the boy are now dating.

My friend who didn't want to come to Reverb? She was there last Thursday, and had a great time. She says she'll be coming back sometime soon.

You need to bring hope to others, because sometimes, that's the only thing they have.

"Love wins. Love always wins." -Tuesdays with Morrie

I went on Flickr today.

I searched 'Love'- 9,686,469 Results.
I searched 'Hate'- 484,146 Results.

"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."

Some friends can't be replaced. Marial and Lindsey are two of the nicest and funniest people I have ever met. I even pointed out to Lindsey the other day that I have never ever seen her mad before. And the same goes for Marial. And it's true. I can honestly say that I can't think of a single moment where I have seen them mad. They are two people who don't care what others think about them and they are never afraid to be themselves. No matter what people say about their friendship, they don't let it get to them. They give me strength and I am so lucky to have them as friends.

This is us and our 8th grade teachers. We loved them..

This is me and Marial during spirit week, Lindsey's lurking in the background.

Last day of 8th Grade. I love you guys.

Lose hope? Never.

We lost my puppy yesterday. Only for an hour. But it was an hour of me, Ariel, Shannon and my Mom trudging through the foot of snow, in the woods, in the dark from 8 to 9 at night, calling a dog who doesn't even know her name. I was wearing shorts. Needless to say, it was an awful experience. But we eventually found her, just in time for me to watch American Idol, too.

The entire time we were slumping around my neighborhood, I didn't think once that we wouldn't find her. Honestly, I was thinking about my little 'info' box on the right side of this page, next to my picture. It says "..& I don't lose hope. Ever." I was thinking about how true that statement is. And how I am kind of proud of that fact.

Let's keep in mind that..

Just because I go to church and youthgroup and have a relationship with God, doesn't mean I am a saint. These factors do not make me exempt from sinning. Everyone sins. Yeah, I try to act as Godly as I can, but I'm gunna screw up a few times. I just hate when I'm angry or upset about something, or in an argument with someone and they try to use that against me. They don't have a relationship with God which sometimes means they can throw all their harsh words at me without caring, but if I say anything half as bad as what they say, I get told that I am sinning. Yes, thank you, I am fully aware, and I'm not proud of it. There is no need for you to point it out in a cocky way like I am going to take it all back and apologize for it just because you said that. Sure I'll apologize later but not in the midst of whatever is going on.

I'm going to make mistakes.

It snowed a lot today..

My brain on a daily basis.

Why do some teachers think they are always right? Why do people who I have no mutual friends with show up in my 'suggestions' on facebook? What really makes the first day of summer, summer? Why do some people find the need to post very personal things on their facebook statuses? Why does my mom wear her claddagh ring the 'single' way? Why do I get so excited when I buy new socks? Why do I hate talking about 'human nature' in school? How come it seems like some people can judge others without feeling guilty? How are Jason Mraz and Austin Kyle so talented? Why do I have an obsession with college sweatshirts? Why do I feel sick when people don't know who The Beatles are? Why do some people think it's alright to whistle at people for their attention like they're dogs? Why do I feel like I'm a charity case when older people want to hang out with me? Why do some people think it's so strange that I have rings on my necklace? Why did I not know that it is strange to eat oatmeal with salt and butter? Why can't everyone be happy? Why does high school have to come with so much baggage? How come I sometimes want to be grown up and on my own, but other times I want to be a little kid again? Why can't we stay little kids forever? How does wearing fake silver jewelry turn your skin green? Why can't it be summer weather all the time? How come I tell my life to people I've known for maybe 2 years but get restless and antsy when my parents ask me how school was? Why do some people think age limits who you can hang out with? Why do good things have to come to an end? Why do people who believe in Nihilism do anything if they believe that everything amounts to nothing? How come when I sing with my eyes closed, I feel like the music is pouring out of my soul? How can I relate anything to anything else? Why do some people get nervous when the see they have an inbox on facebook, yet I get super excited? Why do I spend hours thinking about the smallest things? Why do people assume that if you are a nice person, you have a perfect life? Why does my dad think my cartilage piercing is trashy? Why do I have the strangest memory? When did we stop being interested in Disney and start becoming interested in drugs and alcohol? Why do I enjoy doing my laundry 10 times more when I'm at a laundramat, apposed to my house? Why are some people so against people who have a relationship with God? Why can't we be friends?


Why do I ask so many questions?

Knoxville FTW

Yesterday, Katherine found documentary type videos that we made while we were in Tennessee for the Global Finals of Destination Imagination (It's doubtful that any of you know what that is..). We made 17 videos of complete nonsense. But they are absolutely hysterical. We died of laughter while watching them yesterday. Here's one of our favorites.

Kath and I have decided that we are going to make videos like this more often. Whenever we do things, or go anywhere, or even if we aren't doing anything. They are so ridiculous, yet so fun.

Watching the shadows burning in the dark..

I love this song. And this girl is incredible. I want her to win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT5wd92Ztis

Dream Big.

I love photography.

Baby I'm a dreamer, for sure..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp_zcJ2qn6o

Callie babyyyy.

Today, my family got a puppy.

Name: Callie.

Gender: babyGirlllll

Breed: Beagle Dachshund Mix (we think)

Age: About 1

She's adorable and I love her.

Forever.

My neighbors and neighborhood reminds me of the neighbors and neighborhood from The Sandlot. In that movie, it all starts one summer, when the new kid moves in. When the Buhlmann's moved in next door, almost 8 years ago, that's when it all began. The games every night, staying out till our parents yelled at us to get in, spending every waking moment with each other. In The Sandlot people move away. In our neighborhood, people went to college. But I'll never forget those summer days when we were all so contently happy doing absolutely nothing, because we were doing absolutely nothing with each other.

What happened to..

..staying out till 2 in the morning?
..baking almost every day?
..taking pictures like it was our job?
..doing laps around the neighborhood?
..sitting on the Buhlmann's fence or the Fritzs side yard?
..manhunt, capture the flag, german spotlight, wiffle ball, football, fuzzball, kickball?
..running in the sprinklers at the golf course?
..chasing down the ice cream man?
..bike rides?
..making up our own games?
..ringing each others doorbells?
..talking about anything and everything?
..not letting me play aerosoft?
..midnight swims?
..bon fires and ghost stories?
..being there for eachother through anything thrown our way?
..the neighborhood?

We grew up.

Let it.

Music keeps us together when everything else is falling apart. It connects the ends of the world that you thought were impossible to connect. It keeps us striving, living, moving, going. It silences your thoughts, stills your problems and puts your life struggles on hold while the symphonies, melodies, harmonies wrap around you. It sends praise, messages, love, hope, inspiration. It starts revolutions, movements. It builds bridges over age differences, over seas, over gender, over language barriers and over social class. With music, there are no boundaries and no limits. It accepts you for who you are, who you were, and who you'll ever be.




It takes all of you: Body, mind, heart soul, and when it does, let it.

Candy Land

When we were in DC, we slept in children's classrooms in The First Baptist Church of Alexandria. One night we were there we noticed all the board games and toys that were in the rooms. Since we had some chill time before we had to go to sleep, we decided to play Candy Land. Such a simple game was so much fun simply because of the people I was playing it with.

The fear of what?

Does that fact that I want to be a missionary scare people? If so, I fully do not understand the terror in someone whose sole purpose is to help others and bring God into their lives.

If you have any idea why this might be terrifying, please enlighten me, because I'm truly lost..

Endless Stories

Going to Middlebrook Farms every tuesday, I hear countless amounts of stories about traveling around the world, starting families, wars and even people surviving the Haulacost from all the lovely residents. Today, for the first time since I've been going to Middlebrook Farms (over a year) I heard a woman talk about segregation.

Lily told Liz and I all about her life and everything about her family. She was talking about how she was a school Librarian in Cleveland when the segregation laws were enforced. She was the only white faculty member in the entire school at one point. "I walked up to a table in the cafeteria one day where all African American teachers were sitting and I said, 'I'm going to desegregate this table!' and I sat down." Her boldness and strength for what she believes in is an inspiration.

"The first duty of love is to listen."

I love when people just listen to me. There are like 8 people in my life that I know are always there for me to talk to. They always listen, no matter what. When I need to vent, they always listen and never interrupt. They understand fully. I always try to thank them after I chat their ear off, but just in case they don't realize I appreciate every second of their time..


Thank you Katherine for the 10 years of listening you've had to deal with.
Thank you Julia for the countless amounts of hour+ phone calls.
Thank you Taylor for the texts and phone calls whenever I'm upset.
Thank you Kayla for the texts and 3 hour conversations on Retreats.
Thank you Liz for our walks around Middlebrook Farms.
Thank you Sara for the phone calls and text messages whenever I feel so lost.
Thank you Ryan for the endless conversations every time you come home.
And thank you St.Pierre for the 45 minute lunch periods you deal with everyday.

To all of you, I give my endless thanks.

Gotta stop.

It is currently 2:30 in the morning. I just spent from 10:45 to now starting and finishing an essay that is due tomorrow that was assigned over a month and a half ago.

This procrastination thing that I'm getting pretty good at? Yeah, it has to stop.

Urks.

Sometimes when I tell people I want to be a Missionary when I grow up, they end the conversation.


..And by sometimes I mean 90% of the time.

Limitless Love

Today at Project Renew, I saw an old man give up his chair for a just as old woman. I'm glad to know that love and generosity have no age limit.

Matthew 11:28

I was at church a couple months ago and I saw a woman there. She was by herself, young, pregnant and using sign language to sing and praise God. Church isn't for 'perfect families'. It's for the opposite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUJpJyth3J4

The Arts.

Fame is one of my favorite movies. Along with Raise Your Voice and Step Up. Why? Because they take place at High Schools for the Performing Arts. I love the arts. Music, photography, painting, dancing, writing..all of it. It will always be around. No matter how much technology advances, you will still need people for the arts. It can never be replaced by machines, or computers. Everything else can. But I'd like to see a computer compose a song entirely by itself. Or choreograph a dance. Or paint a picture. Or write a screen play. The thing is, it can't. It's impossible. You'll always need someone at one end with the outrageous mind and ridiculous creativity of a human being.

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." - Jack Kerouac

Simple things.

There is a line of jewelery at Target that Katherine and I were looking at today. There were quotes on the cards that the necklaces and such were attached to, having to do with what the jewelery was about. I wrote ones down that I liked, here they are..

Knowing: To understand where certainty ends and faith begins.

"People with clenched fists cannot shake hands" -Gandhi.

Peace: Peace is not something you wish for;It's something you make, something you do, something you are and something you give away.

Shine: To illuminate a space especially the heart with a light from within the soul.

Change: Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Accents

I love accents. In a world where people strive to fit in, and be the same, one thing you can't simply change is the way you speak. The way you say things. It's one last sign that we are all different, no matter how hard we try to be a like.

Let Hope Rise

I went on Flickr today and entered 'Hope' in the search bar. There were over 1,608,416 results. I spent some time looking through all the photos. Every single one of them made me smile.

This was my favorite..

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tracietaylorphotography/2690209732/

Hope [hohp] -noun; The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

Where would we be if we didn't have hope?

Smile, Kid.

For some reason, even if you are being a huge jerk, I don't take offense to it at all if you call me 'Kid'.

My brother and I got into a little battle via facebook chat before. We were thinking of names that we could possibly name another dog we might be getting. He said that there was no name that I could think of that he couldn't relate to a movie. So back and forth, I said a name, he related it to a movie. I started giving him some of the pretty intense, abstract names that they have in the Bible, yet he still connect them. Finally I gave up. His response?

"Well nice try kid, you gave it your best."

And I didn't care about his sarcasm, because he called me kid.

Don't Forget.

"Remembering is important. Remembering is vital to who you are."
-Dr. Robyn Gangi

Today was my first day of Chorus. My teacher said this, and it really hit me hard.
I sometimes think that the reason I blog, the reason I write so many 25 facts notes, the reason I tell so many stories, the reason Katherine and I kept a Summer Journel this past summer is because I don't ever want to forget. I've seen people who can't remember a thing at Middlebrook Farms and it scares me. What you experience in life, what you go through, who you meet, who your friends are is all part of who you are, and who you'll ever be. What happens when you can't remember any of it, who will you be then?

..That's why I don't want to forget.

I love..

..when you can see shadows at night, because the light from the moon is so strong.

..that awkward phase of day during the summer when the sun is down, but it's still bright out.

..staying up all night and seeing the sunrise.

..looking up at airplanes and wishing it was you on that flight going somewhere other than where you are.

..when it rains and is still hot out.

..remembering good memories.

..acting like your 6 years old again and not caring what other people think.

..the fact that life is a journey, and you never know what's coming at you.

..Seriously?

Ever see any of those ridiculously sexist facebook groups? The ones that make you go "..seriously?". I saw one today that was called, "Hi, I'm a girl and '..Shutup and get back in the kitchen.'" Probably the most sexist one I've seen yet. I can't get over how some people are still stuck in the 1920's. Like Chello! Open your eyes and stop being so incredibly close minded. We came close to having a woman president in the past election; countless amounts of women have gone to the moon; half of the people protecting our countries borders and fighting for our freedom are female. Times have changed, women and men are considered equals, now wake up and stop joining, becoming a fan or creating ridiculous facebook groups promoting the exact opposite.

Dear Juliet..

..don't give up on him. Take that chance.

Tuesdays and Thursdays

Something bad always happens to me on Tuesday. I normally receive bad news. The thing is, I love Tuesdays because I get to go to Project Renew but I don't like the news Tuesdays bring. I normally stay awake a bit later than usual on Tuesdays because I'm up thinking about the latest tragedy in my life.

Thursdays I normally get home from Reverb between 9:30 and 10 and go into super thinking mode. I go in my room and just think about everything that's going on. It's like I'm in a trance. You know when you daze off and are just staring at something and kind of day dreaming and then you hear someone calling your name and your aware of it, but you don't want to look away from whatever you're staring at because it's just so comfortable. That's what it's like every Thursday night. I don't want to do anything because my mind is whizzing with thoughts and it's kind of comfortable.

Can You Hear It?

Something about hearing wind chimes at night creeps me out, but at the same time makes me happy. Knowing that you can find music anywhere on this planet, and that you don't need the help of people is so satisfying. Music is everywhere, you just need to take a breath and listen.

The Downfall

I never in my life imagined that I would witness someone start to go insane. It is one of the saddest things in the world; Seeing someone whither away. Irene was always the sweetest old woman at Middlebrook Farms. She always had the nicest things to say and was always trying to keep the peace. A couple of weeks ago, they were testing her out in the Harbor. When I found this out I was baffled, such an incredible, sane woman was possibly being put in the Dementia/Alzheimers wing of the Nursing Home. It made me angry because I thought nothing was wrong with her. I was told she was crying the entire time she was in the Harbor. I'm glad I didn't see it because I would have broken down.

The next week we were back at Middlebrook farms I saw Irene, back in the 'normal' part of the building, and we were trying to get her to play Bingo with us. She was acting nothing like her self; speaking in sentences that literally made no sense, saying that there was a Kite you could hold onto and it would take you anywhere in the world you wanted to go, hearing people when they talked to her but not listening to what they were saying. After 10 minutes with her, I understood why they were thinking about putting her in the Harbor. You never know how long you are going to have. One week she was fine, and the next she was slowing losing it. You would never imagine Irene to be the one who would slowly go insane. God throws a lot of curve balls, but you just need to remember through it all that you'll get that homerun eventually.

The Stand

"So I'll stand, with arms wide and hearts abonedoned, in awe of the one who gave it all. I'll stand, my sould Lord to you surrendered. All I am is yours, all I am is yours."

Probably a song with the best lyrics. Probably one of my favorite songs of all time. I'm listening to it on repeat.

DC MVP

The first day we got to Washington D.C. we went to a park just outside Lincoln Heights and played some football and basketball with a couple of young kids at the park. The basketball court had a little 3 inch ledge to it. During the game Paul Young stepped half way off the ledge and twisted his ankle. Within the next couple of hours his ankle was the size of a softball and the color of ripe blue berries. It was probably the worst sprained ankle I've ever seen. Paul had to spend the week on crutches with (I think) no medicine. The week we'd all been waiting for since we signed the permission slip. The week that was supposed to be painless and problem free. The week we were supposed to bring God to the community of Lincoln Heights. The week Paulie sprained his ankle. The entire week, he didn't complain once. Not once! He's one of the strongest people I know, and for that he deserves to be the DC MVP.

Nightstand Memories

I have a few random things on the night stand next to my bed. All good things though, with good memories behind them. Seeing them everynight before I go to sleep makes me happy. The first thing I notice is a framed picture of myself, Rachael Bitter, Cana Conserva, Katherine Cantillo and Julia Liggio at Beacon Hill the day before Cana left to go back to Thailand. We are all wearing a different colored shirt, all bold. I miss Cana. Being the young girl that she is, she changed my life that summer. Sometimes you never expect people to change your life, but they do. Sometimes you don't even realize how much they have impacted you until they are gone. That's kind of what happened with Cana, but a bit different. At the begining of the summer I just KNEW that it was going to be 'the summer that changed my life.' I had no idea who or what was going to change it but I just had a feeling it was going to happen this summer. The summer Cana came. The summer I made another best friend.

Her story alone is incredible, maybe not to others, but to me it is. Her parents are Missionaries in Thailand. So being only 11, she obviously has to live with them in Thailand. She is not Thai, and gets a lot of flack for that at school. She told us once that people there mock white people. Kids atleast. She also said that she will go up to girls in her grade and start talking to them and without a word they just walk away. But she never acts up about it. Or gets down. She always stays positive. A young girl with a heart so mature is a blessing. I sometimes think of my situations with my family and how something isn't going as I would like it to go. Then I think of Cana, a girl younger than I am, and I think of how much she has sacrificed. How much she has given up for her family. And she never complains. I strive to be like her every chance I get.

The next thing I notice on my nightstand is my glass cup of fine tip sharpies. D.C. memories is what looking at that cup immediatly brings to mind. The week we were in D.C., fine tip Sharpies were the only thing I wrote with. I think those were the only writing utensils I brought with me. I don't know why. I don't know why I even had any because I bought the massive pack of them I use now after DC. I could write a book about that one week in Washington D.C.

A photo booth picture with 4 shots of me, Katherine and Sara from the Coney Island trip making ridiculous faces is also on my nightstand. One of the best days that summer. 22 year olds that bring two girls almost half their age to Coney Island on a day they could be looking for a job GMH.

A sheet of Motion/Reverb paper with a drawing of a Robot and a drawing of a Pumpkin on it with speach bubbles saying nice, funny things is next to the photo booth pictures. Kate drew it for me one day at Reverb when she could tell that I was upset about something. She was right, I was upset about something. But she managed to make me laugh, and definitely make me feel better.

A ring that used to belong to my Grandma. Reminds me that she will always be there.